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The Seasons Of My Heart

Please God, I am feeling sad, help me find my way. Give me the will to rebuild my life in spite of my suffering, to choose life, and see its many gifts, even in the face of death. When I feel lost and empty, teach me to see that I am not alone. Show me that you are with me as is my loved one. Kindle within me the flame of hope, God. Help me write and cleanse my soul.

No one can know what it is to grieve until you lose a loved one. I can personally tell you it is an experience that not only changes your life entirely, but also one that makes you realize what is important and what doesn’t matter anymore. It teaches you how short all of us have on this Earth, and not to take one breath for granted. The simple things in life have taken more of an importance in my life. The song of the birds, the smile of an elderly person when you acknowledge them, the smell of the ocean’s waves for example have much more meaning than any materialistic item ever could. Yet the emptiness of a loss leaves such a void in your heart that you wonder if you will ever be happy again. Even though you know your loved one wants you to go on with yours, it is very difficult. Daily living, one day at a time, sometimes is all you can do. Your mind tends to be preoccupied with memories that grief bursts come suddenly and tend to overwhelm you in the worst time.

I have read so many grief books since the loss of my mother. She was my best friend and buddy. I tend to search for answers for so many questions only to realize that this is a part of life all of us must endure. Yet reading has helped me in so many ways to realize that there are stages of grief and has given me some valuable information regarding this grief process. All of us will grieve in our own way. They say that time will heal, but I for one, tend to think that time will make me accept the reality of my loss. The first year is the hardest they say. It was for me. Yet the holidays and special dates in the year will be changed in some way. Rituals and new traditions including your loved one will transpire. Your loved one will still be present in some way. The people that were your support system will gradually go on with their own lives, even the anniversary of your loved one will only be recognized perhaps only by you. Some will have a hard time dealing with your grief and be uncomfortable around you. Some will just forget. Yet the seasons of the year will come and go, and grief holds on to your emotions. It knows no timetable. It has no heart.

Grief Counselor, Dr. Steven Bailley
Grief Counselor
The purpose of these articles is to provide interested readers with information and thoughts about loss, grief, mourning, and grief counseling. A variety of grief-related topics have been covered. It is my sincerest hope that you will find the information presented here to be of interest and assistance to you. If there are specific topics of interest that you would like to see added in the future, I welcome you to email me with your suggestions. If you have a need to talk with me, please call me at my office at (713) 914-9944.
Collection of papers and articles on grief, and coping with grief
The need to express our grief… Grief is Different For Each of Us The emotions of grief: Guilt
Grief, Mourning and Grief Counseling The Experience of Grief The Emotions of Grief: Anger
Reactions from others… The Seasons of My Heart The emotions of grief: “I feel like I’ve lost control of myself.”
The Closeness of Mortality Ambivalence
A 'Grief Journal' Grief After Suicide
Research and clinical experience support the idea that many bereaved individuals gain benefit from grief counseling. Ideally, counseling can help people to cope as adaptively as possible during difficult times that follow a loss, and can also assist in bringing grief to a more adequate resolution. Should you decide to explore the possibility of seeking professional assistance, at any time following your loss, I welcome you to contact me to explore this option (appointments and fee schedule are available upon request). Every person is unique, and I will work with you to assist you in coping with your specific needs. At this most difficult time in your life, I wish to extend to you my sincerest condolences for your loss.

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